Hello my friends and followers! Thank you for being patient while I took some time off. It had been a time of reflection, and hills and valleys. I’m not sure why we expect that we shouldn’t have any, but we seem to think we shouldn’t. We think, I should not lose a child, or a spouse. I should not have lost my job, or my home. Why would God allow this to happen? Why didn’t I take a different road and I could have avoided the accident? Or, I should have stayed home. Why didn’t I question doctors more about what I was seeing? Oh the questions we can ask God. We even blame Him! But He said we would have trials and hardships. Did we not believe that part? Or did we just think it would’t happen to us?
I have lived through many of the above, and even more trials than that. I may feel angry and confused initially, but I eventually talk it out with God and I slowly gain some perspective. It doesn’t do me any good to do otherwise; not healthy for me, not healthy for those around me.
So… I will share with you some of my latest bumps in the road. I think transparency can help someone out there that needs some encouragement or just someone who can walk along side with understanding.
About five years ago, give or take, I had bilateral knee replacement. I have shared a little about that in earlier posts. One of the side effects of that is that I lost a lot of hair. A lot. Some of it grew back but I continued to lose hair and have to this day. That’s number one. Then, for the last two years, I have had a problem with pores on my nose that have bled. My doctor then told me it was enlarged pores. She cauterized the spot and I was clear for a while. But over the last year and a half or more, that area would heal and the flare up again. I knew something wasn’t right. Since we have moved, I have a new doctor, and I asked her about it. I had two spots of concern. She sent me to a dermatologist.
Fast forward to today. Updated prognosis: I have hair loss that won’t grow back without treatment; that may or may not, work. However, we will try and see if my body will tolerate it. Otherwise, I will keep losing it, starting with the front and moving back. This is caused by a autoimmune problem in my body. If this doesn’t work, I was told wigs are possible or I can just let it be. Really? Thanks from a person that has great hair. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bald by any means but I have gotten so styling my car to cover those places gets harder and harder. As for the spot on my nose? I have basal cell carcinoma on the front spot, and now must go through Mohs surgery, which is taking off think layers of the skin, analyze it, and keep taking layers until you get skin clear of cancer. Having this on my nose is kind of a concern because there isn’t that much there. (The spot in the back was ok and removed). Where do I go with all that? I have had so many surgeries, that facing even a small one again makes me cringe. With that said, I had to have some conversations with God today because to be honest, I was kind of ticked. I take very good care of my skin and have always used good skincare. However, after some arguing with myself, I finally had to ask myself a question…”Do I trust God with everything in my life? Whether its the bumps in the road, or the mountain top highs, will I trust Him?” The wonderful up??? A 22 year answer to prayer that happened just a few days ago. Do you think that was to encourage me for the road ahead…today? It certainly was one of my highs!!
Do I look at what is happening and not be reminded that along with the highs can come the lows? Is He not with me no matter where I am, and what my circumstances are? Of course He is. So… this is just one more opportunity for me to build up my faith and trust in God. Once again, He is with me on this road too. As I wait for a call for the Mohs surgery, I will pray my way through it, and trust Him for what He has for me. I don’t have a choice if I believe what He says is true in His Word. He tells me that He will never leave me or forsake me. So thank you Jesus for the reminder today. You are my mainstay…no matter what.
Do you have some big hill, or maybe a mountain, before you that you feel like you can’t climb? Do you feel like you are climbing and getting nowhere? Or, maybe you feel like you have been around this mountain before? Then, I would suggest you do what I did today. Take it to Jesus. Lay it all before Him; the fear, anger, loneliness, hurt, or anything that might keep you from relationship with Him and trusting that He has got you in the palm of His hand. He knows what you are thinking anyway, so you might as well be honest with Him. I did. I am taking Him at His Word and trusting Him with my future.
Will you? I truly hope that you have found comfort from my transparency with you. Look up.
Until next time…
6 thoughts on “Bumpy Roads Expected”
Thank you for sharing JoAnn. As I read your words, I am reminded again of how powerful our testimonies are to others. I believe God intended for us to share our hearts and build compassion for one another through our struggles.
Fear paralyzes , God empowers and moves us, fear says run, God gives us the strength to stand, fear says you are alone and defeated, God says “I will never leave you or forsake you”. I am praying for your healing and standing in agreement with you. God Bless you from the top of your beautiful head to the tip of your toes! I Love you, Cindy
My hope was to give others a chance to see that we don’t always have it easy but that doesn’t mean God isn’t working. I didn’t want it to be self-gratifying, but turning eyes to Jesus. He is where our help comes from for sure!
You know I can relate to this. I know all I can do is give it to the Lord. Nothing else is going to work. This has increased my faith. It’s the only way I can feel any peace and acceptance. I am powerless. I will watch my diet, take my vitamins and antioxidants and pray. Cry too sometimes. Less these days. Oh and think of others, besides myself. I love your faith and strength with all the health issues you have been dealing with. I’ll learn from you. Love you Cousin. Karen
You sure CAN relate. Who would have thought how getting older would be so challenging!! I know I didn’t think about it but God knows the end from the beginning so in that, I trust.
Thank you for this blog, at the moment i’m Not in a low but understand more now that as we get older life changes. I try to enjoy each moment as it comes and will try to remember to talk to God more.
I will pray for your health and that the surgeries and treatment will be successful. ❤️
Thank you and bless you Dianne! Yes…it certainly isn’t how we might expect, but we also learn a lot more about our dependencee on Him! I am so grateful to have Him to turn to, even at times, when it takes me a day to do so. 😉 He so lovely waits for me to share my feelings with Him. God bless you as you live each day for the moment…the best way to live!