As my year came to an end, I felt a little lost to be honest. As I know you may be feeling some of the same, I kept telling myself there is hope in a New Year. We hope life will be better in some way. Some are hoping for things to relax and go back to a bit more of normalcy. Some feel that any normalcy will never happen again in our lives. At the end of this year, I could clearly understand the idea that it will never be normal again as we might perceive it. How does it happen that friends leave friendship, family members will choose their own thinking as right instead of seeing that not everyone is going to think or perceive it the same way? It’s sad to lose that which we, in our personal life, think is so important. I’m sure you may have had some similar situations in your own life that you have had to deal with, and like me maybe struggle a bit as this New Year approaches with so many unknowns. With various views and expectations, instead of letting it go, we make it our focus. It is not good.
So with my word of the year before my eyes, and with how I have felt, I asked myself if I was willing to ask for God’s help in REALLY letting that all go, and then next, to do as I often do and ask myself what I can savor in my life? It is much like my gratitude jar. So let me share a little how I am attempting to redirect myself this year, with this word, and how I am dealing with my own “feelings”. It can be tricky as you all know.
First of all, I can not go by my feelings. Do I have enough faith and belief that God cares about all of the experiences that are happening in my life? So… I have had to breathe deep through the hurts and division to ask God to take over. You see, my first knee jerk reaction is to say, “Well ok, if that is the way this will go, and I have tried to work it out, and I have prayed about it, and I have to now leave in with God. Then, I will perceive it as having done my best to understand, and press on. But, what we need to realize is that when we do this, and maybe it is exactly what we need to do, we also carry the responsibility to let God handle it when the devil brings it up again and again. And he will. How will the devil get to us? Our feelings such as guilt, hurts, misunderstandings. Memories. Relationships.
What do I talk to the Lord about this new year? That I will grow in my walk with the Lord and be quick to turn it all over to him. The unknown of what might happen, or decisions I have to make, or even being consistent in my goals and direction I believe God has given me. All of that, has to go before the throne and to ask God to take care of it. And…here is a big one… I need to trust Him with the outcome.
We can be weary in well doing and God tells us not to do that. But sometimes, I have let that happen. I can easily feel like I am walking an uphill battle up the mountain side, with a backpack that is completely full of burdens that I don’t need to carry. I unpack some and leave behind, but somehow the things that are left feel more heavy than before because they end up filling up the space if I don’t leave them at God’s feet. We all need accountability for the actions we take and the way we handle them. It has always been my way to talk them out, and pray for understanding for myself and the circumstances. Have compassion and be willing to accept anything I have done to create the circumstance. It doesn’t always work because those involved have to be willing to come to the table of understanding and/or acceptance. So what is there to savor this year?
I believe in and treasure my freedom. I have the right to choose what I do. Freely. It may not be what others do, but I have the freedom to make that choice, even if it isn’t what someone else might think is right. Not sure when or where it happened that we think we have to force our decisions on others. It certainly isn’t God’s way. Closing our mouth at times is a better practice. At times, silence can speak for us.
I will savor….
My opportunity to freely, by choice, be a life-long learner.
Every moment is precious in my life and live it to the best of my ability.
Where ever I live. That is my sanctuary that God has given me…where ever that turns out to be.
The opportunity to change, because again, God may be teaching something through those changes; even the hard ones.
Learning to listen more than talking.
Quiet time and my mocha time…a priority I don’t want to miss.
Enjoy the food as I eat, rather than, just eating and then getting right up to clean up.
It has been a joy for me once again to write out my goals for this year. Even though I have had some hard times in these last few weeks, I know that I will make it through this too, with God’s help. I do know from experience what I need to ask… for His help for me to see beyond it. It may take a while for me, I have to walk it out. However, I will keep pressing on to be a better listener. You see, He can see beyond today all the way to the end results. I can not. Hence, turning it over in surrender to Him is the only way I can let go. All the hurts, or losses, or sadness, or misunderstanding that I might experience, are not necessarily mine to carry. As I turn it over, He will show me what to do.
As I close this post, I am emptying my backpack and giving it a heave over the side of the mountain. I seek freedom. I hope the above words will sink deep into your heart and soul to help you remember where your help comes from. If there are changes that need to be made, you and I, need to be willing to MAKE the changes in ourselves before we can expect change in our lives.
Am I willing? Yes. Is my path perfect? Nope. But I am headed toward change. My heart is willing and directed. Is YOURS?
Until next time…