Tag: family

Are We Really Too Busy?

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

Hello friends! Today I am starting this post by asking you a question. Have you ever heard or said any of the following when you have lost touch with family and friends?

  • * I am SO busy. * I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. * Things have been just crazy! * I don’t know when I can come by but I will try soon. * I meant to call/come by, but things just got real busy. * With the family and kids, it is just hard to make it over there. (You put in the “over there). * I just started this new deal/job/ class and it has kept me pretty swamped!

I have felt this message heavy on my heart over the last few months as I have listened to all of the above and more, for the reasons for not being in available. We all think family is important but then we fail to keep in touch. We think we are more busy than others. Many of us have elderly people in our family, and we make the above excuses for not being there, and go on. Maybe if you are younger, you might feel that your elders are not relevant or they don’t understand. But if you spend time with them, you discover they are a wealth of information and have lived some of the same things, sometimes worse, than you have. So what keeps you from keeping in touch with others that you think about, but yet don’t follow up with? You know what? You may even carry some guilt for not following up when you get that niggling feeling. That is how the Holy Spirit works…He nudges you, drops a thought into your heart, or an action you should take. Do you listen? Do you take a moment to send that greeting text or make the call or just drop by on the way home from work just to check in?

Our grandparents and parents have given up so much. They have sacrificed much to raise us and give the best they could provide for us. We owe them that love and respect. Don’t leave them sitting in their chair wondering how you are or what you are doing. Take a few minutes to call. You will make their day. The Bible talks about, and even commands us, to honor, respect, and physically or even financially provide for our parents and family members. The Bible verse I think about is: Honor our father and mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given you; and that it may go well with you and you will enjoy a good life.

This applies to anyone that might be in need. It may be a friend in need and you can help. It may be your presence someone needs so they aren’t alone during a time of upset. God will bless you, that I know. He says you will have a good life. We have so many ways now to stay in touch and we have phones that we spend a lot of time on. Make it worth something. Don’t scroll all night. Share some of that time with someone instead with a text, a meme, or a picture, but stay in touch! You may be a distance away, but to hear your voice will certainly have the ability to lift their spirit!

It’s hard for me to hear so many talk about feeling alone and abandoned by friends and family. As I have said many times, we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. Neither are your family members or your friends. Some are fighting hard to keep their head above water and just need to know someone cares. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you be more aware of how you can improve in this area of your life. Don’t be so busy that you don’t live each moment, but instead, live a wild a crazy schedule trying to do everything. Make the most of every moment you have while they are still here with you. Pray about what changes you can make so you won’t feel so rushed and not have some time to give back. Don’t be so busy just because you think that means you look like you are successful. Slow the pace and let those around know they are important in your life. It will change you. I can guarantee that.

Until next time…

JoAnn

Preserving Generational Memories And Their Significance

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

I have been searching for a while for something that was not only part of my life with my grandparents, but also a part of my parental household growing up. It is something that I have never forgotten and it still brings a sense of belonging and joy to me.

Picture this memory in your mind’s eye…you walk into your grandparents home and there it is sitting in its special place…that something special that you were allowed to have when you came to visit. What was it? I bet it comes to you right away. I hope it does. Let me share a little about mine with you.

In my grandparent’s home, there was one special dish in their home; a candy dish. That special round dish with some goodies in it. The downside of these candy dishes were the alarm set off by lifting the lid of the dish. It was a very heavy lid and usually hard to sneak into without giving yourself away. What was it? It was what we today call a vintage candy dish; pressed glass. So I have been on the hunt to find a candy dish like my grandparents and parents; one that is still in good shape. I know you probably know the one. Here is my little memory of the candy dish…

The candy dish had lemon drops in it. We so loved being able, with permission, to have a lemon drop out of grandma’s candy dish. And then at Christmas time, we would get to have Christmas candy…you know the ones…variety of candy and ribbon candy which was my favorite. Such a treat. So imagine my excitement when I found one just like the one my grandparents had! It now sits on my coffee table at home and I love looking at it and how the light reflects off of it. It brings a smile and joy to see it everyday and I remember those days now like a special treat.

I am a grandma myself now for the last 19 years and I made a lot of those kind of memories for my grandson. But something this dish reminded me about was the importance of the legacy of some traditions. If at my age I can still remember the feeling of getting into that candy dish for a lemon drop or Christmas candy, I think it is an important legacy that was carried on for us kids. Maybe your memory isn’t of candy in a candy dish, but something totally different. I have many other memories of snacks she would give me when I went there after school. But this dish rings true for me. I also have dishes and glassware that my grandma used and that is something I love to use every day also. Many of these things were passed down to my mom and then to me. It’s part of the story of our lives and I think it is good to share our stories. It is a part of us. If your parents or grandparents are still with you, ask them questions about their lives. Don’t be sorry for never asking about them as I have experienced with my grandparents. Even though they didn’t want to share, I wish I had continued to try a little at a time. I am now on the hunt for some lemon drops to put in it. They are not as easy to find anymore. But I will. I think it will look good in my new kitchen at some point. But for now, it will continue to grace my coffee table. My mom used the same candy dish for us with goodies when we could afford them, and for sure, Christmas candy was one of them.

To the left is a picture of a tradition that I have started with the adult kids…going to Not Doug’s Country Kitchen and Espresso for their great food each time they come over. It is a great time and a nice drive. Worth the effort for the trip to have wonderful food and milkshakes!

What are some important memories that may have popped into your mind as you read this? I believe that God gave us each an amazing brain that could recall these memories, and even in some cases the smells, that bring us comfort today. These are hard times for all of us and having those traditions to share can have lasting effects on future family memories, and friendships as well. I thank God each and every day that I can remember those times, their faces, and their love for us. It God’s purpose to comfort us in those hard times with grateful memories that can bring us to a place of joy and gratitude. I can’t begin to tell you how many times coffee from one of their cups, or ice tea from her special glass that I still have, makes me smile and brings comfort and joy to my heart. My house is full of those kind of mementos.

I would love to hear what memories came to mind as you read this. Let me hear from you in the comments here on the blog. You can leave your comment by scrolling down to the comment section. I hope it inspires you to know you can and will make a difference someday to those you love when you are no longer with them. They will need those fun times and loving traditions to remember.

Until next time… ~JoAnn

p.s. If you didn’t have these kinds of memories, that doesn’t mean you can begin to make them now with your family or friends.

The Past Joins the Present

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

Have you ever found yourself lost in an activity and not realizing how much time has passed you by? A week or so ago, I worked on a project that brought back lots of memories forward to my present. I love those journeys of the heart! Have you ever had that happen? Something you see, or hear, or a smell from something you love to eating, and boom! You are right back there. We all have a story and it is fun to share them with others as a way to bring nostalgic moments and memories into the life of another. So let me share one with you from my life’s archive.

A week or so ago, as I said, I stepped back in time as I went through my grandma’s button jar. I found out quite by accident as I was looking for a certain button, that even though the buttons were in a great jar with a good lid, that it seemed dampness had gathered at some point, either in moving or from storage for a short, or some other way, but it was evident on the buttons. I took them all out and sorted them, washed or cleaned them, and then put them on towels to dry. Then I polished them and put them back into a clean jar. As I did this, I found buttons that were used on sweaters my grandma made, Norwegian buttons that may have come from a Norwegian sweater, and so many more buttons that had always caught my eye. I remember her cutting buttons off of everything when the article could no longer be worn. There are many different designs that are no longer made. These intrigue me now just as they did as a child. I love looking at the different styles and designs.

There is one that right away connected me to a coat my grand wore. It is shown in a picture below. It was a heavy coat worn when she went out to the store and this button was the top button of the coat collar that was offset on the coat.

I have taken a picture of some of my favorites. There are so many I like that it was hard choose just a few. But I’m sure you see some that maybe you might recognize or at least bring back memories of your grandma’s buttons. I remember looking through her jar often just for the fun and pleasure of it.

The buttons our grandma’s and mothers used were just as individual as they were. There are used for function, but they were also used to enhance the look of the clothing being worn. Several years ago, I took a few of her buttons and made a book mark with them for a few friends when we were together so that they could have a fun memory of the time spend together. I still mine as you can see in the photo.

Life is a bit like that. We get so busy collecting things we think will make things better and all we do is keeping filling our life up with activities, buying things, keeping busy, and we forget the simple thing…like the simple pleasure of looking through buttons. Each of those buttons has a story just like we have; a story of individual experiences. I found myself lost in the button project and it called me to simpler times. It is like when we get away for a stay in a cabin or hotel getaway and dial down. Without the frenzy of life, we just enjoy being and living. We are drawn away from a life that pulls us in several directions, and also can be discouraging at times. But with some times of simpler pleasures, we can really our life and those simple times and activities. When we do that, we can hear that still small voice speak to our hearts.

This simple time of going through the buttons, and cleaning each one…I really enjoyed their color, their little diamond in the center, the ones that look like flowers, or wooden buttons, or tiny ones and big ones, but all had a story. It didn’t matter what was going on around me. I had a big table and spread them out like a puzzle. It hugged my heart back in to yesterday where I also remembered her sewing room, her sewing machine, which I now have, and seeing in my mind’s eye the button jar, her scissors, material on top of the machine and in the drawers of her machine, and sweaters made that had some of these buttons on them. It all came flooding back. The purpose we know was to save money by saving buttons from items to be used on other sewing projects. Very practical, and yet years later, it made me grateful for those thoughts and times, and the story the buttons tell even today.

When God talks about digging out nuggets from the Word, it like this button adventure…a hunt for treasure found in a book (also written a long time ago), instead of the jar. But oh, if we could just look at it in the same way, it would be buttons like no other! Don’t ever get too busy to enjoy those simple things. I think my grandma would be very happy to see that after all these years, that I am still enjoying her button message as I look through them. Now, they are kind of sorted as I put them back in the jar so their beauty can be seen, even with a few favorites along the side of the jar to be seen and remembered by the one gazing at them…me. I found this item pictured here on the left and it really got me wondering. I have no idea what it is unless it might have been a lapel pin. But so unusual!

Below to the right, you will see some fun buttons and the top one is one of the buttons I remember from my grandma’s coat. So unusual and the rest of the buttons on the coat were simple. Just this top button was accented. Funny the things you remember.

It is my hope that just like these buttons still tell me a story years later, that it will speak to you. It is my prayer that those who follow after me will see my story that has stood the test of time, and those who find my “treasures” will remember my story. What story will my buttons or life tell? Even though the buttons went through the depression, they are precious still today and have not lost their value, monetarily, as well as, the memories of a life well lived. I hope others can see the fun “buttons” in my life; the flowers, the colors, the look of diamonds and reflections, the sturdiness of wood, the shiny fun, and even some of the corrosion that hit some areas but where the beauty still shows itself. I pray that is seen in me.

Do you have a button jar from your mom or grandma? Go have some fun and look through them. Maybe it can be an activity with your kids or grand kids. Tell the stories. Take the time. You won’t regret it. Someday they may be sitting around the table remembering the stories of the buttons in your life.

Until next time…

~JoAnn

Creating the Moment You Are In

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

Today I once again realized how much of my life story is in photos; not just a click of a camera or phone camera, but of setting up the photo so it conveys a message. At least that is my hope. I take photos every day from various parts of my day. Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t ALL I do, but it certainly is a part of all that I do. But it sure helps me be present in the moment!

You might say, “What’s the big deal?” Well, in my experience, I have found that often times our kids don’t really hear what we have to say. That isn’t just in this present day either. I often times wish I would have listened more to my elders, asked questions to see if on the right day I would get the answers. I didn’t think about it then. I do now. So I hope at some point when I am not a round to wait until they ask the questions, they will one day see them in my story of photos. We are more of a light to others by how we live than talking or pushing them in a direction. I so agree with that. So my photos will be a legacy to them at some point in their lives and I hope that they will come to know me even better through that legacy of photos.

Let’s think about that for a moment. What can we offer to those who are around us in our sphere of influence? Are we walking in the fruit of the Spirit, or are we walking to impress someone, be known, or be in the middle of the crowd for attention? Is it really about the house we live in, the car we drive, the sports our kids are a part of, how good they are in those sports, our clothes, our looks? Really? Is that what we want others to see? Or do we want to invite others into our home to share hospitality with them, use our car to help get someone to a place they need to go, allow SOME sports for their education and teach team efforts, or look at our closets and see if we can share some of what we have, or let the beauty from within shine from within? I am learning that lesson everyday given all the surgery on my nose and face. I believe that more than ever before, we need to exercise our spiritual muscles now, so that, we can carry what God has for us to carry later on. We never know when that heavier load will come upon us.

So today as I think about these things, I have my “YES” glassybaby burning on my desk to remind myself to say “yes” to God again at the beginning of each of my days here on earth. I want to say yes to where He wants to take me, say yes to His teaching through His word, say yes to the nature around me and say yes to get on track to put myself in the best position I can to do what He asks of me. Simple? Well…yes it can be. We just need to say, “I surrender”, to God on every level of my life. Empty every room of our spiritual house. Simple? Maybe not so simple if you have been living for yourself more than living from a place of surrender each day to His will. I choose to wake up with a good morning to God, with a surrender of my day on my lips, and a request for Him to lead and guide me this day. What joy can come from those simple steps. I am committed. I’m even changing my sign off here on the blog this year! I believe that each moment in life is precious. So catch a hold of it it and use it for change for His purposes, and He will use it for yours!

I’m saying a resounding YES to Him today! Are you? Can you? I’m cheering you on!

For the love of the moment…

~JoAnn

Sideswiped Faith

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations
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I observed in myself this last week what I can only describe as having my faith sideswiped. If you have ever been sideswiped in a car, or watched it happen, you know that it isn’t expected and it is very hard to avoid the crash that comes with it. That was my experience, or at least, what it felt like to me.

To be honest, I was heart broken. I looked back on it and thought I had led well to the best of my ability, but it appeared in many ways that I had failed. What I hoped would be a good example of faith, was in fact, not very convincing or evident apparently. I had failed the ones I loved the most it seemed. I wasn’t looking for this revelation, didn’t ask for it, and yet it was handed to me.

Sometimes we have to anchor our hearts to the One who can anchor the ship as it moves with the tide.

How do you handle being sideswiped? You have to get the facts straight. What happened? How did it happen? Did I not pay attention? Was it my fault or the fault of someone else? Am I willing to take responsibility if it was me? Or was it no fault of my own? We have to do the work. By doing that, it becomes clear in our minds, as well as those involved, as to the course of the outcome. However, that is hard when you are shook up from the sideswipe. You are shook to your core and not always thinking clearly. You say things and act too much out of emotions. It takes asking yourself the right questions.

That’s what happened to me a couple weeks ago. As believers, we try to navigate our life in terms of being an example of how to live, how to pray over our decisions, how to make good choices, how to love others, and be Jesus hands and feet. We trust God with everything. We may not always like the outcome, but we trust that He knows the end from the beginning, so we can trust the outcome. We try to parent in such a way that our children, family and friends see Jesus in us and thus come to see God. We live with that purpose of showing others what God looks like, and serve God with our lives. But we also know that it doesn’t always go the way we want it to. We, or our family and friends, don’t always stay in the same lanes with the parallels of our lives. We test the boundaries, we go too fast, we get distracted, we miss a road sign, and maybe we are distracted by the life of the very person we have tried to lead. Sometimes this can cause a “crisis of faith” in us. This isn’t just in families, but it can be in friendships, and church families as well.

What I came to understand as I worked through my thoughts and emotions in prayer, was that I felt like a failture at this point. God is not the author of those kinds of thoughts and feelings. He tells me that I can come to Him with anything, and He will hear me. So I listened after I shared this with Him. I came to understand it in a different way. I know there are times I could of handled things differently. We ALL have that in our lives. The key? I have always asked for forgiveness of those things, and I know God forgives. I have asked of those that I love to forgive me. So it’s done. I have done my very best, I have changed and corrected my future with what I have learned, and I know that the Holy Spirit lives in me to bring correction as I need it.

I was reminded that God has given each person a free will. They use that free will to make choices for their lives. Friendships that they choose, even how much of what their friends believe that they begin to belive. I can’t make the choices for them, nor an I responsible for the choices they make. I can direct, correct, encourage, but as they get older, they are now making their own choices. If they make choices based on their belief ideals, then they must live with the consequences of those choices. We would all love to see them live good lives, and love others, and put God first in their lives. But without the acceptance of God and of the Holy Spirit in their lives, they are living a spiritually blind path where they don’t see it like you or I may see it. Until the time comes in their lives where that becomes real to them, they can’t see it. They also have a tendency to listen to who they spend time with, rather than someone who has imparted into their lives at home. I have had years of experience with God where I can say He has shown Himself faithful every time. I KNOW His provision.

So… it came down to this, I can only keep living my life in a way that shines God’s light to those around me. Even in my messed up ways at times, He can still use me to let others see. If I am honest and open about the way I live, and I ask God to use my life toward guiding others, that is the best way to handle it. What I feel God spoke to me during this experience was this: “You can pray, and keep praying, and never give up praying. That isn’t the last thing you do as if it is your last resort. It’s your first thing you do every day. It’s your priority!”

In otherwords, devil, you aren’t going to drag me down through the ditch for something that God is using to teach me again. It isn’t easy to hear, and it means some more trust and faith on my part, but I will keep shining. That’s what I hope to do. I keep believing, I keep trusting, I keep asking. I keep living. That will be a part of my story.

I will keep my eyes on the road of life, and watch carefully for those times when I know it is the devil trying to discourage me and side swipe my faith. I can better avoid what he tries to hit me with. I won’t give up. My relationship with my people is all good. I just have to leave the ending of their story in the hands of the One Who knows.

Will you give up when hard times hit? Or will you try to live an authentic life for Christ? I hope it is the latter; the former is what satan is after these days. Don’t open that door. Slam it and lock it! Kick that devil to the curb. Then, thank God for leading you, assess the damage, repair what needs to be repaired in prayer, wipe the dust from your sandles and walk on.

Until next time…

~JoAnn

Building My Story on The Rock

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

IMG_0310Have you ever had someone say to you, “I was one decision away from a different life path in life.”?  I can relate to that.  I have had many points in my life been at a crossroads and my decision totally changed the trajectory of my life. I have not always chosen what was right for me, but often chosen out of compassion or not wanting to hurt feelings, rather than listening to the Holy Spirit that is sending me a different message and a different path to take.  Those decisions are so hard, aren’t they?  Sometimes there is so much to give up…but what if we listened to the hard message in the first place and didn’t take OUR decision, but listened to the leading of the Holy Spirit?  And…what if the Holy Spirit even sent friends along the way to ask you the hard questions about a decision you were making?  Ahhh…now THOSE are hard questions!  Here is another one for you…what if changes in your life circumstances mean that you NEED to consider yet another change in order for it to be the best yes in your life, and it will require a LOT out of you?  That’s not even to mention all those who think you are nuts to have done it in the first place, or they are thinking you can’t seem to make up your mind.

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Ever been in this situation?  Let me share mine, or yet another one of mine, with you.  A little over two years ago, it was our goal to move away from a very busy area, where noise of traffic and walking traffic kept us awake all hours of the night.  Didn’t mind the house, we even made some great improvements on the house that we really loved!!  But in order to move after retirement to where we could find affordable housing with a more quiet and peaceful surrounding, we made a move away from family and friends.  We have worked very hard on this home to improve it and make it our own.  Loved every minute of it!  I love the house, the quiet back yard and have spent many a morning and afternoon.

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So…here it comes…but before it does, I want to remind you that you need to build your house on the Rock.  That is where we can live strong.  Anyway, back to the story…it brings to mind this photo that I took several weeks ago with our grandson.  When I took this picture, I heard this message:  “Expect something ahead.”  Without going into detail, it made us reconsider what is important in the scheme of things for us.  But the reality is, we don’t know what is in our tomorrow.  Sometimes we have to make the hard choices now for the sake of the future choices.  So after much conversation, we have made the decision to put our “house on Bel Aire” on the market.  We will be moving back up north where we will have family closer and where I am blessed to have life long friends.  The hard part is that I have recently began to enjoy some sweet friends here also.  But… The Captain and I are used to the trip, so I expect I will still be coming this way to say hello.  I will have to come back to enjoy a refreshing visit to the ocean.

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So what have I learned through all of this?

  • I am not as young as I was since the last move.  My body gets weary quicker.
  • We have too much stuff, which someone in our household has trouble letting go of.
  • I have had fun sharing treasures with others.
  • Simplifying isn’t just something I think about, it is something my heart craves at this point in life.
  • Only I and God know the reasons for decisions made and I can’t care about who thinks what about it.
  • It’s sad to see JoAnn’s House on Bel Aire disappear into Real Estate Boring Decor.IMG_0095
  • Life is precious, and when the unknown rears up, I want to live out today fully alive.
  • Change is STILL hard.
  • I put my heart and soul into my home so I leave part of myself behind with every home.
  • It is important to pray for the next occupants of the home, that they found the joy I found in this home.
  • I don’t want to live with expectations, but with expectancy.
  • We get to start a new story; the next page can be the best written page in the story yet!
  • God resides IN me, so where ever I am, I am home.
  • I can’t control this, so I have to rest in Him.
  • I am STILL up for a good adventure.
  • I am never alone.  Ever.
  • I can travel more with my hubby when we have less to care for.
  • I appreciate each day we have to live with joy.
  • I have to be willing to give up what I want, for what may be better for someone else.

When we think we might have to give up something we love, God gives us a way to make it special in the next place we are by giving me a talented son who can repair and make it look new again.  That’s how God is.  He will sometimes take away, so He can make us new with a clean slate.  That was a heavy light we are taking with us.  And you can’t even see it hung there.  God is a carpenter too, and He knows how to put things together.  What a relief, huh???

So when you think God is out there, maybe in the distance, or far away, we are wrong.  Because…Jesus is in us.  He cares about what we care about.  And like an author said from a book I have been reading,  “God’s breath both creat and sustains our spirit, and that spirit was always meant to be His home.” …”We think of God as out there, somewhere, and search for Him as though He were lost.  In reality, our omnipresent Creator is “out there” and also “in here”.  Christ is within.  So being with God and remaining in Him are awakening to and exploring forever the biblical truth that we are God’s resting place.”  Alicia Britt Chole

So you see, no matter where I live, what home, or condo, or whatever kind of home we end up in, God is there because He lives IN me.  That is a comforting thought for me to be reminded of when I fret a little about where I will be.  I can rest in that knowledge.  He is IN me, and that is Home.  God always has a purpose, and if we are willing, He will  use circumstances to teach us and lead us in the direction we are to go next.

So…lead on Lord.  Your servant heareth.

Until next time…

~JoAnn

Honoring Memories

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

 

A little late in posting this, but that is a whole other post for next time.

Honoring Memories…isn’t that something we should all take part in?  Not just honoring them, but taking part in making them?  Even when its difficult?  It sure feels right.  This last weekend, my hubby and I made the trip up north to do just that…clean stones and add the beauty of flowers to their gravesite.  You know what I loved even more than honoring them in this way?  On a cloudy morning we all met up in the most unlikely place…the cemetery.  But it just seems right.

You see, my family were the care takers of that very cemetery all the time I was growing up and even after that for a while.  We did the mowing and trimming of the lawn, disposed of dead flowers, set flowers back up when they had fallen over, watered them, and brushed off the stones of all in the sweet people on the hill.  So it seemed right to now be there with my boys and grandson to do the same for a couple that had done this for years; my parents.  Flags were flying proudly on the gravesite of those who served.  As we all met up, God gave me a glimpse in a moment in time to notice…my boys coming from their homes, traveling the distance in bad traffic just to meet up with us to help clean and trim out everything in honor of their grandparents.  As I watched their interaction with each other, greeting each other with a hand shake and then doing the same when my brother came to meet up at my folks gravesite, it made me smile.  The respect shown to one another was something that just tickled me as their mom.  Oh how I wish my folks could have experienced this part of the kids’ journey and watched the kind of people they have grown to be.  I was proud of the way I was brought up, of the way that I had raised my boys, and how God kept us all safe and still together.  For a mom with more days behind her than before her, it was very special moment for me to see once again, the faithfulness of God.  My life may not turn out how I expected it to years ago, but it is great none the less!  My boys would do what ever is possible for each other…and as a family, we would do the same.  We all paid honor to our family, and then spent some time together over food before we went home.  What a joy!  Thank you to my sweet son Jesse, who bought us all a burger!  Those sweet times are what it is all about!  It was also a legacy for my grandson to see his dad and uncle and Grandma and Papa showing respect to the memory of family.  This is what “being in the present moment” is all about.  I could have just missed it, but God nudged me just in time to see it through His eyes.  That made me smile and feel so proud of them!  Maybe it was just to encourage me… I think so.  I’m so grateful.  I’m thinking my parents were glad to see us gathered too…the gift of presence.

My hubby and I then went on to honor family on my dad’s side.  One was my Grandma, my dad’s mom, who died a year or less after I was born.   I had a different kind of conversation with her this time because I had been where she came from in Norway.  I have learned some things about her life that brought me closer to knowing who she was.  There were also some of my family with just tiny tin plaques that I prayed, that if I had the money in the future, I will put a nice stone in its place.  I know my dad wanted to do that, and maybe God will allow me to do that one day instead.  The memories flood my soul as I walked around.  Good family times of sharing and helping each other.  We were raised in community a lot more as I was growing up.  Family helping family when needed.  It brings me back to the thought of what I want to be remembered for…what I hope people will remember about my life and focus.  It’s not over yet, so there is work to be done.  There are gatherings to be had, and reunions to plan, food to be shared, and love to be given.

It was a good day.  I left knowing my efforts were rewarded by God’s faithfulness to answer prayer.  He can do what we can not.  I like to think of God bringing my parents over to Him and pointing down at us that day and saying, “Look at that…all of them together, loving on each other, paying honor to your memory.  You led well.  Well done good and faith servants.”

Lifting my mocha cup to lives well lived!

 

Until next time…

~JoAnn

 

 

 

 

What Have You Missed?

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

Family…a circle of individuals, that even if you grew up together and experienced the same family unit, are all different.  Their perceptions of experiences are unique to them, and unique in how they see it.  I know for me, when I talk to my kids about their time growing up, I sometimes ask myself, “What house did they grow up in?!?!?!??”

View from her mother’s sleeping room.

So in the last week or so as I have read letters that my mother wrote to relatives in Norway, I found myself learning about things I didn’t know.  Things she protected her children from…such as the grief she felt after losing her brother.  We kids knew that it was hard for her, and we all felt anger towards the irresponsibility of the driver that was driving a large work truck while drunk, and crossed into the oncoming traffic.  Even though he was in a line of five cars and the third one back, he was killed instantly.  I went on to read in her letters about how she lost her dad only about eleven or so months after losing her brother and the difficulty she was having to even get a letter out to the person she was writing to.  I feel bad that I was less attentive to what she was going through.  I remember those life moments, but as kids, we don’t always get all the ramifications.  We are in school and/or working a job, keep ourselves busy because that is our life at the time.  It can also be that we don’t know how to deal with it or want to replay the emotions of losing someone special ourselves, so we in turn, aren’t prepared to give the comfort where we could to someone who needs it.  As I’m my case, where although I was old enough to understand my uncle wasn’t coming back, I wasn’t mature enough to understand how deeply that would affect my mother.  When I read about her struggle almost a year later from losing her brother and then her father, my heart hurts for what she felt.  And…I wish I had realized.  Sometimes, we think our parents are so invincible that nothing can take them down.  However, that isn’t true.  They are hurting and yet have to press on in life.  When she is home alone, and writing a letter, safety permits a peek into the honesty of her heart as she writes the letter.  The door of the heart is opened a bit.

 

Why am I sharing this with you?  Well…a couple of reasons.  One of them is that we need to be open to share our lives and feelings with our kids and grandkids.  Tell your story at the age level they can understand.  Let them know when you hurt so they can better understand their own hurt and know they can trust you with their hurts.  We don’t want to be the one who says, “Man!  I wish I would have asked more questions of my mom and dad to know and understand their life and how it was for them!”  Ask the questions.  Get the story.  Otherwise all you have are fragments of their lives and more questions than answers sometimes.  I know in my case, I asked some questions.  With my grandparents, most of the answers never came.  It may have been difficult for them to talk about too given what they experienced in their lives before coming here and then the hardship of making a life for themselves once they arrived.  Then again, it seems to be kind of a Norwegian trait to keep those things to themselves.

Her mother’s house that she grew up in.

The valley where her mother’s house first sat.

The second reason is this.  Regrets can paralyze you.  We all have a few that we think we can handle.  But it’s better to live without them.  Mom never drove.  That was her choice.  However, it isolated her from doing things she could have done to enjoy her life even more.  I was her chauffeur, but she had to wait 15 1/2 years for that to happen.  I think she would have enjoyed her life a bit more freely if she had been willing to learn to drive.  Many offered.  It can be a bit lonely.  So I would say to you, show interest in the stories you hear now.  Record them telling the stories while they are here to share them.  One day you won’t be able to say, “Hey Mom/Dad…or Hey Grandma/Grandpa…” or whoever it may be.  I read these letters where my mom talks about wanting so much to go to Norway and see relatives.  She wanted to see where her parents grew up and what they did for a living there.  Wow!  Wouldn’t I love a little bit of time with my parents and grandparents to share what I saw and learned while I visited Norway.  Your story is all a part of you.  Tell your story…write your story…put together a picture story.  Whatever works for you, but share it.  One day, you may come to understand yourself better because of it.

I know.  You are busy.  But your parents, grandparents, and their siblings did a lot for you.  Slow down.  Put down the phone.  Shut off the TV.  Shut down the computer.  Tell their story.  Tell your story.  It’s the next best seller book you can read with your family.  I have a treasure box for my grandson that I made when he was little.  It has all kinds of things in there that tell about myself and my parents and grandparents.  Each time he came, something was added, and he would want to go through it.  It is a very fun way to share your life story with them.  They love stories…especially when it is about someone they know and love.  And if you love your parents and grandparents and family, even though, as in Ethan’s case where he never meant them in person, he knows about them and the kind of people they were.  That blesses me, and someday, I think he will be very glad grandma shared it with him.

This is another wake up call for me.  Live well. Live long…as the Lord allows.  Life is full of lessons.  Listen to those who have learned them, so that, you can better share your legacy.

Until next time…

~JoAnn

 

 

The Precipice of Change

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

10302697_683810818367171_6463270350335103447_n1.jpgFOR SALE:  Today, I am writing in response to many who are asking me questions based on a few of my posts about moving.  Some of the questions are:

  • Why move?
  • Where will we move?
  • Why do you want to leave your home after you just got it more the way you wanted it?
  • As I have shared where that move might take us, the question of why we would move so FAR comes up.

Understandable.  I asked some of those same questions as I prayed and talked with God about the whole situation.  Even though it is hard, there are many different reasons.  I thought maybe if I share some of my thoughts about this season of change and transition, maybe it will resonate with some of you.   When a big wind of change comes into your life in the future, maybe you can be more prepared to approach changes in your lives with an open heart.  Here we go with a few financial choices we have made:

  • First, I am looking for what God is doing.  It is like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else SO THAT, you can live like no one else.” (emphasis are mine)  910153_13_resizeto_611x458x1
  • We have lived in places others would not want to live.
  • We have lived in houses others wouldn’t desire to live in.
  • We have made decisions such as moving to the midwest to work for a ministry.  Many thought we were kind of crazy to do that, especially since we were going to a home sight unseen.  But God…  He took care of us and all the details!
  • We drive used cars so we don’t have car payments.
  • We do the work on our home to save money on our future utilities.
  • We make the hard choices so that later, we can make the fun choices.

With that said, we are now entering into the next chapter.  A move.  We could make the decision and just stay here.  We could.  God gives us a free will.  We have enjoyed it here and have accomplished the above things in our current home.  However, as we have prayed about it, we have felt that God has something else He wants to do in us and for us.  Are we going to be obedient?  Yes.  We want to be in God’s will.  I have been praying for a long time about our future retirement years and what we want that to look like.  So, we began to ask ourselves:

  • What are our priorities?
  • What do we want our life to look like?
  • What makes us happy?
  • What is it that really feeds our souls?
  • What must we do to be able to live that way in our daily life?
  • What do we need to do to get from here, to there?”

What is our plan?  Why the move out of the area?  The answer is simple.  We will go where the housing is less expensive than here in current location.  It will not be too far away that a drive up north can’t fix.  Being debt free is what we desire.  By keeping the mortgage cost down, we can still continue to enjoy our life, enhance our home, and travel.  As we began to ponder these questions, there were some changes to make in order for our lives to be what we envision.  Doesn’t mean this location is wrong.  On the contrary.  God gave us this wonderful home and it will be wonderful now, for the next owner.  We are proud of leaving our home much better than we came into it.  We have enhanced its character.  I love that.  I am now praying about, and planning in my head for the next home He brings.  We will dedicate it just as we did this home.

Part of our discussion has been our life style.  We can easily become too busy, overextended, and have crazy schedules.  In the long run, it doesn’t help us to really have peace or joy because we are always running.  We get worn out.  I know many who later on in their lives, have regrets about their lives and how they wanted it to be, but it isn’t.  Personally, I view change as a way to start a new chapter with what I have learned in the last chapter.  If we will be open and willing to really hear, and not ignore, what God is telling us or leading us to do, we WILL reap the benefits of His guidance.  I don’t want to miss that.  But if we ignore what our hearts are telling us deep down, then we may have a life that works, but not as fulfilling as it could be.

Guardian Angel from Childhood
Guardian Angel from Childhood

I have been reading a great book by Michael Hyatt called, “Living Forward”.   The book discusses the idea of having a Life Plan.  A life plan is designed by you, and meant to give you direction with your whole life; whether at home with family, relationships, a career, or any other area.  It has been very insightful to me.  It is exactly what we have been praying about for our life, and was affirmation of what God may be leading us to do.  I would encourage you to get this book and read it.  Don’t be afraid to make the changes necessary.  Who knows how God will use the changes you make?  He knows what is important to us and will work out the details; even missing friends and family that will be further away.

My hubby and I are at the precipice looking over the edge.  We are choosing to step out in obedience.  We put our hands in His, and obediently walk this path out.  God asks us to step into the water before He parts it, so we step forward even though we can’t see exactly what is ahead.  We trust He will land us exactly where we need to be planted for this season.  It’s up to us how we react to it all.  I am very grateful for all God has done for us, and I am very excited to see where God will take us.  Watch for future posts of the journey!

Update:  We got the listing up with photos and one hour later we received a call for a showing.  Got favorable response with possible offer, and then another call for an appointment for 5:30p and the first day!  God is working!

Walking the journey with you…

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Don’t Miss Out

by Journeys of My Heart, posted in Life Foundations

Dad's Harmonica

I know I have talked about his before, but this blog is about the journeys of my heart.  So, I will once again share today’s heart journey with you.

You know, as we get older, there are people we begin to lose from our lives, and the older we get the more of them we lose. I don’t have too many in the generation above me left now.  I have become the last generation, except for just a few.  I just recently received a photo of my grandfather in his element, working as a contractor/builder.  I loved seeing this for the first time!  As I was putting my grandpa’s picture in the picture frame to hang in my bedroom, I realized that this is yet another reminder to me of another time.  While enjoying the memory of the photo,  I received a phone call about another cousin who passed away.  There are have been many cousins who have left this earthly realm just recently.  So much of my childhood memories were spent with our family and extended family. We did holidays together, potlucks, reunions, overnight stays on weekends, and camp outs at the beach or lake.  We would ride bicycles in the summer time to meet up and play together.  When one family needed something and the other had it, we shared.  If one family was a bit short on groceries, they would be invited to dinner, or a package would appear on their door step.  Many of us might remember hearing our parents or grandparents talk about the “old days.”  I sometimes feel like I am now living the “old days”.  I have also come to understand why they said the things they used to say.  It enriches our lives when we understand more.  Ask questions if they are still with you or ask people who may have known them, to share a story or memory or two.  You can get to know them all over again!

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Grandma and little feet sharing life.

This particular man, my cousin, was happy all the time. Always had a smile on his face, and would always find something to tease me about. He enjoyed making me blush.  He was a ski instructor. I remember seeing him always wearing sweaters. I always thought that being a ski instructor was such a cool job to have. Kind of a status symbol to me since most men I knew as a child were blue-collar workers.  He was a ski instructor!  I mean, if you loved skiing, what better job could you have than to teach it, and be out doing what you love all the time!  He also loved music and he could play a one and half-inch harmonica like it was a full size one. In later years, he carried it around his neck on a chain and would entertain anyone around, that wanted to listen to him, with a tune or two.  Then he would ask, “How about that?”

My dad had three harmonicas.  One of them was mini harmonica.  He could also play that like it was his big harmonica.  I was always amazed that such a sound could come from something so small!  My older brother now keeps company with that little harmonica, and younger brother has his medium harmonica.  Thinking these thoughts, reminds me that life is very short, and spending time with each other and sharing memories is so important. Time goes so fast!  In the end, the memories we have and make, are what we have to share with OUR families.  My cousin’s music and story will live on in the lives of his wife and family.

A harmonica is rather special instrument to me because my dad played. I have his harmonica and I take it out and play it as best I can. I wish I could truly play because it is something that reaches deep in my soul every time I take it out. I can remember times when dad played with this cousin, and other relatives, and oh what fun it was to listen and watch.  You can see by the pictures that my dad taped and re-taped the box so that it would stay together to protectIMG_1500 his harmonica.  I treasure the box almost as much as I do the instrument because it just shows a little of my dad’s personality.  I have shown this box to my grandson many times as a part of his treasure box of memories that we go through when he comes to see me.  I try to add things all the time to that box so he has different stories to hear.  Someday, that box will be his, and possibly the harmonica as well.

So…today I remind you to consider choosing a legacy for yourself that can be told in years to come by your family.  Make memories today that will last a life time. Don’t let the music stop because loved ones are gone. Keep their song of life going.  I think when we do, THAT is when we truly understand them and the life they lived.  I think I know more of the heart of my parents and family now then I ever did!  If this hasn’t been your experience to have a family unit like this, then my wish for you is that you will decide today to be a generation changer.  You can always begin anew to set a legacy for yourself and your future.  I pray you do.

My song of life still has some verses to add, how about you?

Walking the journey with you…