Last week, I wrote a post about a wonderful trip to the ocean and what I learned from that trip. One of the lessons was regarding my dear friend in Colorado that I wanted to go see. My thoughts were about how I would feel if I didn’t get to go and see her. God was asking what my attitude would be if I didn’t get there. This week, He has to work on a different area in my life. I have lost my friend here on earth and she is now with Jesus. On the one hand, I am devastated to lose that wonderful friendship of over 33 years. I want to continue to have weekly conversations with her , share and laugh together. But her life had become very difficult for her. So I have to ask myself if I am not being selfish in wanting her to be here with us. The answer would be yes. On the other hand, I don’t want her to have to suffer anymore. I want that wonderful mind of hers given to her by God to be hers again. I want her to have that new body to dance joyfully in heaven and enjoy fellowship with her Lord and her family.
So today, as I write this, I am choosing to think on our time together and what a great friendship the Lord gave us in the first place. How many laughs, giggles and tears we have had together and all the wonderful things she taught me. I remember her invisible shelf that she used as a visual to teach the importance of the words and thoughts we use in our daily lives. Her husband told me the most amazing thing that happened the day before she died. She was trying so hard to tell him something and he could not understand what she was trying to say. He told me she reached out her hand like she was trying to pull the words from the air. I told him the story of what she used to teach in her training. He was unaware of that part of her teaching and found great comfort in hearing it.
She gave me a warm fuzzy many years ago that she shared with special people in her life and I was an honorary member. At the time she made these, she was a manager of a large group of people. She gave each person one and she said when times are hard, you just grab that warm fuzzy and hold it, look at it, and know that someone loves and cares about you. That warm fuzzy has taken a special place in my office this week. I honor her, her life and what she stood for. I will never forget…
2 thoughts on “How Am I Supposed To Feel About That?”
I can relate so well to this JoAnn. I still miss my great friend of 25 years who passed away in 2006. She was hurting from cancer and I wouldn’t wish her to be here in that condition. She and I were close and could talk about anything at all. She connected with me as I with her in a very special bond.
I am thankful for the years we did have together. I am thankful that she didn’t suffer long. I cherish the memories we had. And just like you, we know that we will see them in heaven and it will be glorious!
It is always a challenge to balance those special people in our lives. I work on those things everyday. But I am coming to point in my life where I can let those memories spur me on toward doing things differently in my life. I can’t think of a legacy more wonderful to leave behind for my family and friends then to have a legacy like hers. Thanks Judy for sharing your thoughts. Once we can we are sure on the same page!