A Slow Journey Back

IMG_3489Warning:  Some pictures are graphic.

I am back among the living…at least I think I am. I have been gone from my blog and normal life for almost six weeks as I underwent surgery. I had bilateral knee replacement, and for a simpler version of that statement, I had total knee replacement on both knees at the same time. Many people ask me if I would recommend it. In fact, that is the first question they usually ask me. My answer is still out on that. I know for me, I did it because I don’t like hospitals and all that goes with it, so I knew I wouldn’t want to come back again to get the second one done. I will tell you it’s not easy and one of the hardest journeys I have taken in a long while.

When you are in this situation, you really have to learn to live with yourself. You have only yourself, your brain, and what you are thinking all the time. I was most fortunate to have a husband that stood by me the whole time. He took time off of work to be with me in the hospital everyday, then when we got home, he took care of me in the day and through the night; eventually doing that and working too. He was a great house husband too!  God knows what we need.  However, as you know you talk to yourself non-stop all day long and I found that what I was saying certainly didn’t line up with what I was praying.  Oops!!  Not good.  You see, I also had a lot of blood loss, and so I had to have transfusions to even get me to a place that I had enough energy to get myself up out of the bed.  And then I had to have it a second time, and I got a reaction so the last half was not administered.  So my recovery was very slow.  I remember one time thinking that people would say of me, “She came in for knee replacements, but didn’t come home.”  Now WHERE did THAT thought come from?  To give even a second thought to that was to allow the devil free rein in my thinking, and that just wasn’t going to happen.  I may FEEL like I’m going nowhere fast, but I wasn’t going to give in to it.  The night hours were the worst when you can’t sleep and satan tries to fill your mind with defeat.  I would call the nurse and get up! I would walk to the bathroom and walk back to the bed.  I would tell myself, “I was making progress, no matter how slow it may look, I wasn’t destined to be this way forever.  It will change.”  I was blessed to have my sweetie there all day telling me that I could do it.  To say that it was a humbling experience, it to put it mildly.  He became my nurse.  I believe with all my heart, that I am where I am today because of the prayers of faithful friends and family who covered me daily in prayer.  I had circles upon circles prayed around me!  Does that mean that I still don’t have times of discouragement? Nope. I still can have that feeling at times when I want to do something that just doesn’t work too well for me right now.  But, then I have to remember where I came FROM, and then I am thankful I have come this far.

My experience is not your experience so if you are looking to this in YOUR future, I would say, have a GREAT doctor (do your research), and prepare yourself ahead of time for what you need to do.  He is faithful.  I walked from the very beginning with a walker, but only for a couple of weeks.  Then it was a cane, and the last couple of weeks, I have walked on my own without assistance from either.  I would say that is a good track record, and my healing IMG_3482WILL be complete.  Is it over?  No.  I still have pain and discomfort.  But I can now do other things to help with that. I am even down to my last three visits of PT.  Yay!  But I still have to discipline myself to do it on my own.  See?  We are required to do our part.

Lessons?

  • Trust. Trust. Trust.
  • Don’t listen to the wrong voice in your ear.
  • God will use circumstances and people around you to bless you and lift you up.
  • The end of something is always better than the beginning. Always…because we have learned.
  • I learned I have an inner strength given to me by God that keeps me going no matter what.
  • Have a grateful heart for everything; that included my physical therapy. Yuck…
  • I am required to do my part.

IMG_4948This is only one snap shot of my life. I will likely have many more, and maybe some that will be harder than this to make it through.  But I know where my strength comes from, so I can look to the future with hope!  I’m happy to answer any questions if you leave them in the comments.

Walking, yes walking…the journey with you.

Why Does It Have To Take So Long?

Trust In THe Lord
Trust In The Lord

 

This new year has been monumental for me! I have spent many years praying for certain things to come to fruition and was placed in “waiting mode”.  Been there?  Nothing seems to be going on and you don’t see any answers?  Did you give up?  Think God wasn’t listening? Lose your joy? Get all negative?  You can’t see where it’s going so you aren’t even going to take the next step?

I have seen and read a lot of negative things around me lately.  Lest we forget how blessed we really are, I want to share some personal thoughts with you.  Did you know that sometimes we have to wait for the answers for MANY different reasons? I have found that God sometimes is teaching me things that I need to know during those times when I think He isn’t doing anything. BUT…in reality, He IS doing something! It all depends on whether I am willing to be obedient to what He says to me during these times. I may gripe, complain, get a short fuse, even get discouraged about my whole life, but, all the while, God is working on the solutions. I can’t seem them.  Shoot!  I don’t even know they EXIST yet! BUT GOD…is faithful. He never let’s go of my hand. The only time our lives get in this situation is when we have pulled our hand away. Possibly, we have tried making things happen on our own rather than waiting.  Oops…never a good thing.  But then, when we put our hand in His, all of a sudden, things become a bit clearer. We start to see things through His lens and view-point. We see His hand at work and we can begin to see the wheels turning toward what God has in mind for us.  In my case, I am much more willing to step out with Him.

These last several months, I have seen God…

  • Bring us to a point of being debt free.  We have been praying and working on that for about 8 years.  Something always seemed to happen that kept us in debt. But we began diligently seeking God about this area of our lives, and asked Him to help us, AND we got some Holy Spirit gumption and determination!
  • Bought a house that had lots of work to do on it.   He has helped us accomplish that the work.
  • We sold a house that took many months to sell which meant we were making double payments.  But after many offers falling through, He brought the EXACT right couple.
  • We made additions to our home, that under normal circumstances, would seem impossible.  Yet, God did it.
  • Money unexpectedly coming to us to pay debt down.  Also, through scrimping to make extra payments, somehow the money spread around to all expenses.
  • We were faithful in our giving.
  • We even enjoyed some “get away” times together.

God just did it!  The important part of this whole process was, OUR involvement with Him. We prayed and listened.  We were obedient to say no to ourselves,  in order to say YES to God.  So, He was faithful to honor our needs and some of our wants.  We can’t ask Him to be debt free and not be willing to do our part to get there.  THAT was our process.  We listened.  We learned.  We followed.

Next BIG point?  We thanked Him ahead for what He would do.  We thanked Him for

The Perfect Reflection
The Perfect Reflection

being debt free, we thanked Him for the appliances, we thanked Him for the items we needed to save on daily living expenses, and we thanked Him for the savings that we had.  We thanked Him for how He made the money stretch.  You know what?  He did it over and over again!  We might find just the right thing for our home (the mirror in the picture) and He blessed us with a way to make that happen.

Now before you think it is all about “things”, He will do those exact same things in ANY area of our lives.  AND, He cares about the smallest desires of our hearts.  I love that about the Lord!  In this process, I have learned to love the daily, simple things that come my way and never take them for granted.  I have a Gratitude Jar that I am keeping this year and every time anything good comes my way, I am putting a heart in my jar with the written word of my blessing, and at the end of the year on New Year’s Eve, we will take that jar out and read what God has done.  Anyone coming into my home may add to that jar.  Last week, my grandson asked if he could add another heart to the jar!  Now THAT does a grandma’s heart good!

So don’t let the devil get you all tied up in knots over time lines.  Know that God is working the night shift, and He KNOWS what you need.  But you need to walk in faith “in the mean time” and trust His timing too.  Leave your cares in His hands because He cares about you.  ALL about you!  Don’t put your mind to the negative.  Find the good in your day.  You are alive here on this planet today to enjoy your friends and family and to be a light to others.  Make it count!  Count your blessings one by one so you SEE what the Lord has done!  Remember that song from when you were younger?  It is true.  It will bring joy to your heart.  I promise, and God promises that very thing to us in His Word.  “This is the day that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it.”  THAT is the best way to fight the good fight.  Be a warrior and start wielding the sword of the Spirit!!  Don’t let the evil one whisper in your ear anymore.  Bring out your Sword!

Bottom line?  I have walked this journey with the above ways for most of my life.  I can tell you it works.  Do I get discouraged?  Sure I do!  But not for long, because my experience with God tells me that He knows.  He cares.  He is always working.  What He has done before, He will do again!

Give Him your cares, SO THAT, He can show Himself faithful.  Don’t give in, give it up to Him!  Walking the journey with you…

Does Your Life Need Balance?

The other day, I was out by the water here in Whatcom County and witnessed an interesting situation. Out on the channel there was a log with three seagulls perched on it. They were in perfect balance and enjoying the ride as they floated down the channel. I raised my camera to get a picture when all of a sudden, one decided to take off. What happened next was pretty funny but also an interesting life lesson. One of the seagulls decided to lift off and it left the other two struggling to maintain balance as the log shifted and moved. So I got the picture of the two seagulls who were left trying to work together to save themselves from having to leave the log. They raised their wings to maintain balance as they slowly moved up on the log. However, as they moved to correct themselves, the log also rotated, and so they were doing some pretty fancy foot work as they worked to stay on. Eventually, after each trying to right their position, it failed and they flew off. This whole scenario seemed like a great lesson in a balanced life for me.

We hear so much about the importance of keeping balance in our lives. We have a lot going on, and if we don’t maintain balance, one area of our life can get out of control and take over. We all know the story, right? Let’s think about the seagulls for a minute. Before the “situation” happened, they were just floating along enjoying the free ride down the channel. Then, the one decides to take off. No warning, no discussing it, just doing what that seagull wanted to do. But what was left in the wake of the one seagull leaving were the other two picking up the pieces of that one seagull’s decision. The other two of them scrambled trying to stay on for the ride. It was so easy when they were all together and no one else is messing around. Our life gets like that. One person does something, or a situation comes up, that sends us spinning out of control. Our life balance is totally off and we are dangerously close to upending our log and hitting the water in a belly flop. Oh, we try to adjust our lives at times with things such as time management, charts, clean and organizing our house, quit one thing to free the schedule, but then start something else. We try for a while to have more family time or time for the Lord in an effort to right our log, but it doesn’t last much longer then the float down the channel did for the seagulls. We flap and flutter, trying to do it by ourselves. We do the dance to stay on, flap our arms trying to keep from losing it, and end up leaving the log or, in other words, running away from the truth of what is really going on or how we feel.

So what is the answer? We need to have God on the log of life with us! I mean really. We trust Him with everything that is in us. Are we going to believe IN God or are you going to BELIEVE GOD? Just like He calmed the storm on water, He can calm the storms in our lives. If we partnered with Him to give us balance, we would have a different reaction when one decides to go off on some tangent of their own or life hits us full face. We still have God on our log to help us maintain balance. So we don’t have to do the happy feet to stay on, we can do the happy feet because God is there. He is reaching out to us to say, “keep your feet firm and stretch out those wings, catch the air and slowly move forward with me. I’m here.” You know what will happen?

He will give you a picture like He gave me that day! If our hearts are open to Him, He will speak to us through the simple things in our lives. He wants to remind us of His presence and to help measure our steps and stay on the log of life with Him. Lift your wings and let God be the wind beneath them, trusting that with His help, you can float down the channel of life and enjoy the scenery of life as you go! He may even ask you to dive in with Him! OR maybe you are the one leaving the log of the status quo to be lifted higher with Him!

God bless you as you invite Him onto your log to dangle your feet in the water together!